“There was an old Bexley Librarian…”
It’s National Poetry Day soon, and – with a mild sense of trepidation – Bexley Libraries are inviting you to compose a Limerick – the theme? Books, Libraries or Librarians…
The Blogbrary is very partial to a finely crafted Limerick, and has enjoyed delving into Bexley’s splendid collections…Being of a sensitive and pure mind, I confess to being somewhat startled by the slightly `risqué` nature of some of these verses, and I find myself very much in agreement with the esteemed Dr Cyril Bibby, who wrote:
The Limerick verse has its attraction,
The ribald may give satisfaction,
But I never have fancied
the nastily rancid
Or verses of sick putrefaction.
However, I fear that the following sentiment may be more prevalent…
The Limerick’s callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It’s not worth the reading
By persons of breeding –
It’s designed for the vulgar and rude
The origin of the Limerick is obscure – Late Eighteenth Century Ireland appears a likely source, and from there the art form soon spread to Victorian England where their composition became a popular parlour game and pastime… A tradition which, I remain confident, is very much in evidence around the snug hearths and cosy drawing rooms of Bexley homes even to this day…
So, over to you, dear readers…Send us your Library or literary Limericks –
Let your muse run wild and your mouse run free!
Here’s a possible first line:
“There was an old Bexley Librarian…”
Go on, finish it off, I dare you…(Without resorting – naturally - to coarseness, anything unpleasant, likely to startle the horses, or libellous)…Just use the comments box below.
TTFN
It’s National Poetry Day soon, and – with a mild sense of trepidation – Bexley Libraries are inviting you to compose a Limerick – the theme? Books, Libraries or Librarians…
The Blogbrary is very partial to a finely crafted Limerick, and has enjoyed delving into Bexley’s splendid collections…Being of a sensitive and pure mind, I confess to being somewhat startled by the slightly `risqué` nature of some of these verses, and I find myself very much in agreement with the esteemed Dr Cyril Bibby, who wrote:
The Limerick verse has its attraction,
The ribald may give satisfaction,
But I never have fancied
the nastily rancid
Or verses of sick putrefaction.
However, I fear that the following sentiment may be more prevalent…
The Limerick’s callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It’s not worth the reading
By persons of breeding –
It’s designed for the vulgar and rude
The origin of the Limerick is obscure – Late Eighteenth Century Ireland appears a likely source, and from there the art form soon spread to Victorian England where their composition became a popular parlour game and pastime… A tradition which, I remain confident, is very much in evidence around the snug hearths and cosy drawing rooms of Bexley homes even to this day…
So, over to you, dear readers…Send us your Library or literary Limericks –
Let your muse run wild and your mouse run free!
Here’s a possible first line:
“There was an old Bexley Librarian…”
Go on, finish it off, I dare you…(Without resorting – naturally - to coarseness, anything unpleasant, likely to startle the horses, or libellous)…Just use the comments box below.
TTFN
29 comments:
The new library opened in Erith
and thus did the populace cheereth.
With many goode books,
and very smarte looks,
'tis a fine place for us to be near with!
G.C.
Thank-you, G.C....? Geoffrey Chaucer?
(Your use of the word `cheereth` doth pleaseth me immensely.
There was a Librarian from Bexley
Who liked to read books contextually.
He couldn’t stand Manga
It filled him with anger,
and fury and rage inexorably.
There once in the Library at Blackfen
Lived one red and one black hen.
These couple of chooks,
Though surrounded by books,
Didn’t find time to read, often.
There was a wild Bexley Librarian
Whose head was an usually hairy’un.
She didn’t like reading
Cataloguing, or weeding –
Her colleagues thought her quite `Barbarian`.
The was a Librarian from North’Heath
Who had the most savagely sharp teeth.
Books badly written
Would promptly be bitten,
And her tooth marks imprinted beneath.
There was an old Bexley Librarian
Well-known for his love of shenanigans
When he issued a book
He had a good look
And ran off back down to his shed again.
S.B.
There was a young lady from Sidcup
Who complained that there had been a mix up
she'd taken a book
meant to help her to cook
but had ended up putting a shelf up !!
Hilary
There was a Young man from Thamesmead
Who used the Library to read
He borrowed some books
To learn how to cook
So he could have a good feed
The was a young lady from Thamesmead
Who enjoyed a really good read
She used the library to Flirt
In a very short Skirt
Causing a massive stampede
There was an old Bexley Librarian
Renowned as somewhat contrarian
When customers wanted riot
He preferred quiet
And insisted on all things Arcadian
There was a Librarian from Bexley
Whose limbs were unusually flexi.
Whose books on gymnastics
Made each day fantastix,
And visitor numbers rise unexpexly.
There was a good man from Bookstart,
Who loved books with all of his heart,
He was hoping to share,
And make children aware,
That books can ensure a great start.
There was a young man called Will
Who said give Limericks your fill
So much paper was found
On his desk that he drowned
He was buried on top of a hill
There was a young man from Thames Water
Who said “do you think I oughter”
Say this meter’s dead
So I can go right ahead
Dancing through the night til 2¼
You see, I have a hunch
That I will miss my lunch
If I take up this here plate to see
That this meter is deceased, departed – dead to you and me.
Bexley Libs are renowned for Good Taste
And our lim'ricks are wonderfully chaste
But you might like to look
At our display Banned Books
To see we're not always strait-laced.
Pam
There is a lovely library called Central
The staff are totally essential
But believe it or not
They are an excellent lot
So when you visit please be gentle!
There was a librarian from Crayford
Whose book choices were becoming more wayward
His colleagues were repelled
His customers rebelled
And we were forced to banish him northward.
Tim Coates and his cronies say "Tut!
Our libraries are stuck in a rut."
They want us commercial
And all controversial
So what's wrong with us marketing smut?
Your Limericks are all quite ‘tip-top’
The absolute pick of the crop –
But – sorry to bore,
‘Cos I still want some more.
Keep writing. Keep sending. Don’t stop!
A librarian, a man of repute
Was found as drunk as a newt
The case came to court
He said "I ought
To tell you these claims I refute"
There was an old Bexley librarian
A splendid old centerian
Interviewed by the paper
He said what a caper
You'd think I'd become antiquarian
And don’t forget Bexley’s great Archives
A place to discover the past lives
Of son, mum & daughter
And the father who ought’a
Admit to having more than his nine wives.
Sorry, this one has nothing to do with librarians except that it's a librarian who's typing it out - will that do, Blogmeister? It's one of my favourites anyway.
There was a young man of Tralee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked, "Did it hurt?"
He replied, "Not at all,
"It can do it again if it likes"
Said a young Bexleyheath Librarian,
“If you wish to become an Octogenarian
It says in this book –
That when you cook –
You should give up meat and become vegetarian!”
If you want to work with books
Forget good taste, smart looks
All that's required
Is what's much admired
A duster for all those odd nooks
Your limericks have caused quite a stir
And your rhyming is impeccable sir
Compile a publication
To sell to the nation
And become a Librarian entrepreneur
Their wus a libreriun fromm Welling
Who hadd teribblle problems wiv speling.
But the moor books she red
It got cleer in her head,
Now where she’ll end up, there’s no telling!
Library Limericks…
“And the winner is…”
After a gruelling and exhaustive judging process, Bexley’s winning Library Limerick has been chosen:
Their wus a libreriun fromm Welling
Who hadd teribblle problems wiv speling.
But the moor books she red
It got cleer in her head,
Now where she’ll end up, there’s no telling!
My thanks and congratulations to all those who have contributed…
TTFN
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