BRONTES ‘R’ US!

Confessions and confusions…

Very well, dear reader…I ”fess up” as young people – apparently – say…

I`m bewildered by these Bronte girls…I get ‘em all mixed up, you know, (Anne, Emily, Charlotte), and can’t remember who was who, or who wrote what…


Jane - heir?...


The ten ants of Wildfell Hall?...


Wurthering originals?...


And where does Kate Bush come into it?


And then there’s the new films, it seems? And, apparently, masses of teenage Goth girls (?...) are flocking back to the books, inspired by their sense of wild, doomed romanticism - whatever that may be!…




No, no…it’s all too much for a doddery old cove like me! Give me good, sound Branwell Bronte, any day – that’s the sort of chap whose jib I can admire the cut of (apart from his opium addiction, fondness for intoxicating liquor, romantic "dabbling" and predilection towards lassitude, naturally….)


So, it’s on with m’cape, m’walking cane, and m’mutton-chop whiskers…I’m off to stride the moors…


But, if you do want to know more about them there Brontes, dear readers, then you could always click here: …


And, naturally, Bexley Libraries have a cracking cornucopia of Bronte biographies.


Enjoy!






TTFN

It’s OPEN HOUSE time –Splendid!

Bexley’s Best Bits go on display - 17th - 18th September

 

Greetings, heritage hunters – what ho!


As you can tell, I always get particularly excited around this time of year…

Not just because it’s the season of Mists and Mellow Fruitfulness … and I`m able to pull on my tweed suits, plus fours, and indulge my passion for raking up copious bundles of damp leaf mould, but it’s also OPEN HOUSE time. Yay!

I love poking around in old buildings, don’t you, dear reader? It’s splendid fun!

And this year, in Bexley it’s even better – take a peek!



Keen-eyed Blogfollowers will, doubtless, recognize the illustration at the masthead of this week’s online broadcast? It is, of course, the russet-tiled turret of the west-wing of my own, dear, modestly proportioned shed – (loosely modelled on Bexley’s own architectural gem, the Red House). And that’s set me thinking, dear reader…What other splendid buildings have we to marvel at here in the Borough?

Big or small, grand or humble - architecturally speaking - what are Bexley’s Best Bits?
Have you a favourite? Do tell. Just use the comments thingummy down below.


I look forward to hearing your suggestions – and, as a further inducement to encourage your input, I shall offer the winning contributor a small trowel-full of my own, special leaf mould*



Enjoy Open House, dear readers, and the wonderful legacy of those historic buildings we still have here, because – in the words of my old gardening pal, Joni Mitchell – “Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone”.



TTFN, my old historical house hunters!

* Terms and conditions apply – click HERE for details

The Hole Truth…

By Crikey! What an astonishing plethora of road works we do seem to be encountering at present, don’t you think, dear readers?...

Holes here, trenches there, excavations everywhere!




Personally, I always find it strangely fascinating, peering down into holes in the road – archaeology in action! – although I know that some of you are, occasionally, a trifle miffed about them…



(Did you know, though, by the way…you can dig up lots of useful local info about road works in Bexley online, via these marvellous new computer-jobbies…just click here…good, eh?)


Now, being a chap of a more philosophical or literary bent, I`ve turned my few remaining ‘little grey cells’ to the matter of road works, holes, tunnels and the like; or, to paraphrase the words of the late, great John Lennon

“I read the news today oh boy


Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire


And though the holes were rather small


They had to count them all


Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.


I'd love to turn you on”

Well, what ‘turns me on’ John, old chap, apart from the delights of a neatly turned trench, is BOOKS…and what more exciting tome could I unearth than this one? –London Under.

Splendid stuff! I always like Peter Ackroyd’s books, and this one in particular sounds just up (or under?) my street. Let me quote from the blurb:

“An atmospheric and historical study of everything that goes on under London, from original springs and streams and Roman amphitheatres to Victorian sewers and gang hide-outs. The book also meets the creatures that dwell in the darkness, real and fictional: rats and eels, monsters and ghosts”.

(Now, as you know, I`m not one to gossip or spread tittle-tattle but a very reliable friend of mine – “Mulletman” – once told me that a friend of a friend of his who works “down the sewers” found – actually directly underneath Buckingham Palace – a set of antlers and an antique Bible, in Welsh…Fascinating, no?)

And, if you think that’s fascinating, then you could always try this….

Or visit our wonderful Local Studies & Archives Centre, for all the murky history of underground Bexley…

Well, dear readers, that’s me done. Am off home immediately now to indulge in my new and relaxing hobby (which I`ve just started to practice, alone, behind the back of my garden shed) - road works permitting, of course...



TTFN!

Book lovers…Does size matter?

(Or “Tell us about your Tiddlers”)…

“One always tends to over praise a long book, because one has got through it"
E.M. Forster

“You will, I am sure, agree with me that if page 534 only finds us in the second chapter, the length of the first one must have been really intolerable”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Well, dear readers...
Are some books just too big?


Are you put off by the prospect of anything too ‘heavy’?...

Then, perhaps, dear book lovers, we can tempt you with some tiddlers?...



Shall I let you into a secret?...

I’ve tried to read Moby Dick half a dozen times – after all, it is meant to be the greatest novel ever written – but, well, it’s 702 pages long and weighs almost as much as a great whale. (I know this, because I’ve taken the book with me to the whale weigh station…). But I’ve given up every time, daunted by the prospect of soooo many pages…

I mean, even if I read a page a day it’d take me a year and a half, and by the time I`d finished I`d have forgotten the start!



Don’t let me put you off, of course – but, if you’re looking for some stimulating but briefer books, then might I present to you my list of – what we in the specialist book business call – “Tiddlers”?...

They’re small, but perfectly formed:

The Dig ~ (Just 250 pages – a light delight!)

Diary of a Nobody ~ (216 pages of polite, petite perfection)

A Clockwork Orange ~ (Just 148 pages – a malevolent mini-masterpiece)

Catcher in the Rye ~ (Teenage turmoil, tiny book – just 192 pages)

On Chesil Beach ~ (A seaside snip at 166 pages)

The Great Gatsby ~ (A classic novel, in a nutshell – 183 pages)

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie ~ (A slim, prim & trim 127 page slice of prime fiction)…

Or finally, and back to our nautical theme, the Old Man and the Sea … with just 112 pages, this is one tiddler you won’t want to put back!



Can you recommend any other tiddlers? Let us know; just click on the teeny-weeny COMMENTS tab below…


TTFN.

CELEBRITIES R US


BRUSHES WITH FAME…BEXLEY LIBRARY USERS
BARE ALL!



A couple of members of a Library Reading Group here in Bexley (Let’s disguise the group’s name a bit, shall we?….Let’s call them “SouthCumberland Heath”) recently confessed to various brushes with celebrity…one had kissed an Everly Brother (Don?...Phil?...we need to know which!); another had been on a date with David Essex (swoon, swoon).



“That’s nothing!” said some of my colleagues in the Bexley Library Staff Literary Dining Club… “This hand has shaken hands with Joanna Lumley”

“Well, I can beat that!” added another…”I’ve sat on Gene Vincent’s knee!”



Wow!



Well, that set me thinking, I can assure you.…There’s some mileage in these stories, surely?...

Bexley Library staff and their brushes with fame?

…Bexley book lovers and their celebrity encounters?...

…Bexley Blog-followers kiss ‘n’ tell tales?...



Hmmm, I thought…What can I offer to this important debate? My brother, apparently, once helped park Eric Morecambe’s car…

And I`ve sat on the same lavatory seat – not at the same time, naturally - as Dame Agatha Christie and (allegedly) Hans Christian Andersen…

Oh, and I once - in a pub in Swansea – looked after Dr David Owen’s beer, while he “nipped next door”…

But I`m sure that there are more tales to tell out there…



So, do any other Bexley Blog followers have any more (printable) brushes with fame? Do tell. We love a celebrity link here, don’t we, dear readers?

Just use the comments thingummy-jig.

Must dash…things to do!

Ciao!

Mwah! Mwah!

TTFN

(PS – If any readers should wish to hear my anecdotes about Greg Dyke, Freddie Mercury, a famous cleric, and Brian Murphy of ‘George & Mildred’ fame, then I`m afraid you’ll just have to speak to me “in confidence”…)

Screamers! Startlers!! & Gaspers!!!…



Arrggghhhh!!!! – I can’t stop using exclamation marks!!!!!!

Dear Friends:

A library user asks us: “Can any reader assist me?...


Please help – am desperate!...I just can’t stop using EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!”






Naturally, the Blogbrary is always eager to help cure your addiction!


Try any of these!! – they’re great!!!

Another ‘Good-Un’ (as we often refer to them in the hallowed arena of the Bexley Senior Librarian’s Dining & Literary Society) would be Anton Chekhov’s celebrated novella The Exclamation Mark, in which the hero of the tale, an elderly civil servant, realises that after 40 years diligent bureaucratic labour, he has never used a single exclamation mark…! The results of this revelation are dramatic in the extreme, if you like classic Russian literature!!!!!!!!!







Still on the classics, I am mindful of the anecdote concerning Victor Hugo, the celebrated but frugal French novelist, who was once desperate to find out how his latest novel was selling, so he sent a telegram to his publisher asking “?”.


His publisher, equally, frugal, dryly replied “!”


Very droll.






Today, however, such brevity or wit is not associated with the exclamation mark, and is frowned upon by upmarket newspapers, where it is often referred to as a `screamer`, a `gasper`, or a `startler`. Modesty prevents me from describing what red-top tabloid journalists call it, but – suffice to say – it’s not very pleasant, and concerns canine anatomy. (!)






Anyway, should our original correspondent wish to pursue their grammatical studies further, then they could try this!


Or this!!!


Or even this!!!!


I do hope that’ll be of some assistance.






So, dear readers, that’s me done…
But rather than sign off in my usual ttfn fashion, I shall – on this occasion - say merely BYEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU LAUGH…



With Asterix books!

Well, Blogfollowers…What-ho!

I bring news from the wonderful world of the interweb thingy…



Now, I rather like this little snippet…

It seems that a team of Germany’s most eminent scientists, psychologists and physicians have spent years researching a topic of immense significance to book lovers everywhere…

“What’s that about, then?” I hear you ask…

”A reader’s guide to delicious German cuisine?”…

”An in-depth analysis of the world’s most uplifting literature?”…

“The very meaning of life itself?”…


Nein, dear readers! …Nein!

The learned article was intended to “analyse the epidemiology and specific risk factors of traumatic brain injury [TBI] in the Asterix illustrated comic books."



Or, as another eminent researcher put it: “If you want to know about life, read the Asterix books. If you want to know about death, read the Asterix books. And if you want to know about the bits in between - read the Asterix books”.

Good.

So that’s all solved then.

I like Asterix books, too, and am delighted to announce that Bexley Libraries have a stonkingly good selection of `em!

Enjoy, but with care… Read responsibly, now.



TTFN